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Hi, you're viewing the Classic Onezumi.com website. This version of the site is no longer being updated because we've moved to the new site at http://www.onezumi.com, please update your bookmarks.

You can still look around this site, and it's main feature at this point is it holds the archive of original Onezumi.com comics.

After looking around here, Come Join us for the new adventures of the Stupid and Insane Defenders Against Chaos.

--Harknell and Onezumi
 
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Story/Cast






The start of the most recent story line and a good place to start is comic number 399, Drawing Together the Seams of Evil.

The Story So Far:

What started out as the simple story of an artist's life has spiraled into an insane horror filled nightmare. With the revelation that our gang are secretly (even to them until recently) heroes saving the world from the forces of Evil, we follow the exploits of our band of Stupid and Insane Defenders Against Chaos and wonder: Could it possibly get any worse? Would the world be a utopia if they weren't so damn fucked up? Is this the best we can hope for?

Why are the different characters painted differently?

There are 2 different universes in the Onezumi.com comic. The "Lifeside" universe is the world where most of the comic takes place and is where Onezumi, Harknell, Assmunky and the other characters that live with them live. This universe is basically the "real world" and is drawn normally. The 'Deathside" universe is where Negazumi and Garthnell live, and is normally painted in a watercolor like manner to signify that it has been taken over and corrupted by the influence of the evil Geriatric Ones. Presumably at one point it looked exactly like the Lifeside universe until Negazumi and Garthnell succeeded in their evil plans to summon the Geriatric Ones of that universe and take over. When characters of one universe go to the other they generally maintain their look for awhile until the influence of the new universe they are in slowly affects them and brings them into line with the look of the rest of the universe.

Onezumi and William

Onezumi started out as a simple frustrated artist, but something happened along the way. Something Insane. Whereas Negazumi embraced chaos, Onezumi went way too far past it, to the point where it scares the hell out of Chaos. Her follower William made his appearance after she died at the hands of Negazumi--it looks like even death is too afraid of Onezumi and has sent her back with a watcher to make sure she doesn't return!

Assmunky and Horned Pixie With Pink Manties

To call Assmunky stupid would be mean, he's more a simple example of being impulsive and unwise--though haven't some of the most stupid actions in this world arisen out of this combination of traits? When not trying out for American Idol or being chased by Roboducks he and his 'friend' are agents that save the world from armageddon. Oh God, we're doomed.

Harknell and the Demon Pickle

Harknell is the perfect center point of Stupid and Insane: Clueless. As the voice of reason (oh boy are we in trouble), this geeky web coder has managed to stay on top of all the chaos while negating as much of the impact of the others on things as possible. And What Fun for Harknell! To discover a genie, that's also a demon, that's possessing a .....pickle. The best part is it's out of wishes and can't leave until it grants Harknell some wishes, so it's going to be around for awhile. It's a Half-Sour Gone all Bad!

StickFoots Cat

StickfootCat is an enigma. One day the cat appeared, moved in and became a part of the family. Just like any typical cat, luxury and a life of leisure are the goals of life. Recently though, after eating Led Hammer's iPhone, StickFoots Cat is now also known as the iCat--what new wonderous powers does this bestow?

Led Hammer

Led Hammer is the opposite of Assmunky: Self-assured of his place in the Apple universe, and very assured of the place Apple products have in the Universe, Led Hammer is neither Impulsive nor Unwise.....at least so he says (though his head spike piercing might say otherwise). With his vast repotoire of "i" related items (now including the iCat) Led Hammer is now clearly the most stylish member of our cast of characters.

Knork and Spife

Oh to be used, that's all Knork and Spife want. After the success of their brother Spork they thought they would be shoe-ins for success and fortune. Little Billy proved that all wrong. Now that LaCutest has taken them into his "Collection" they are finally finding the usefulness that they crave, but at what cost?

LaCutest

La Cutest is a recent addition to the household, and the fuzziest, most malevolent one. On excursion from the Bube, he's already made his room in the house his own. And really, who could resist his cute little face? It would simply be futile wouldn't it? So besides Knork and Spife, who else will he add to his "Collection"?

The Merfs

Just what are these little things? Living Jujubees? Ripened Fruit? What part do they play in the overall picture? Or are they just figments of some diseased mind?

Garthnell and Negazumi

They are the high priest and priestess of Chaos in the Deathside universe. They apparently were the reason for the resulting takeover and destruction of that universe. Why they were followers of Chaos while our gang are against it is unclear, but for some reason these guys seem more reasonable....which is scary indeed. Their plans for our universe are unknown, but they can't be good--but our heroes have somehow managed to unknowingly delay and prevent their plans from succeeding.

The Geriatric Ones

The essence of Chaos. The Lords of the Places outside of known space. The fear that lurks in the corners of the Earth. The absolute shame of ineptitude--these are the traits of the Lifeside universe Geriatric Ones. Their origins are shrouded in mystery and possibly galaxy sized diapers. What we do know is they suck, and their woe is revealed in the book that frightens them the most: The Incomponomicon. What are their plans? Where will they try to strike next? Is there a sale at Macy's? All of these dreaded questions need answers!









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Tuesday, August 12
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