|Onezumi and William:
Onezumi started out as a simple frustrated artist, but something happened along the way. Something Insane.
|Assmunky and Horned Pixie With Pink Manties:
To call Assmunky stupid would be mean, he’s more a simple example of being impulsive and unwise–though haven’t some of the most stupid actions in this world arisen out of this combination of traits? One thing he hasn’t (yet) stupidly messed up is his relationship with Gothuhlu, who he “dates” while in the Dreamlands. Regular life is a different matter–when not trying out for American Idol or being chased by Roboducks he and his ‘friend’ are agents that save the world from armageddon. Oh God, we’re doomed.
|Harknell and the Demon Pickle:
Harknell is the perfect center point of Stupid and Insane: Clueless. As the voice of reason (oh boy are we in trouble), this geeky web coder has managed to stay on top of all the chaos while negating as much of the impact of the others on things as possible. And What Fun for Harknell! To discover a genie, that’s also a demon, that’s possessing a …..pickle. The best part is it’s out of wishes and can’t leave until it grants Harknell some wishes, so it’s going to be around for awhile. It’s a Half-Sour Gone all Bad!
Stickfoots Cat is an enigma. One day the cat appeared, moved in and became a part of the family. Just like any typical cat, luxury and a life of leisure are the goals of life. Recently though, after eating Led Hammer’s iPhone, StickFoots Cat is now also known as the iCat–what new wonderous powers does this bestow?
Led Hammer is the opposite of Assmunky: Self-assured of his place in the Apple universe, and very assured of the place Apple products have in the Universe, Led Hammer is neither Impulsive nor Unwise…..at least so he says (though his head spike piercing might say otherwise). With his vast repertoire of “i” related items (now including the iCat) Led Hammer is now clearly the most stylish member of our cast of characters.
|The Geriatric Ones Of the Lifeside:
The essence of Chaos. The Lords of the Places outside of known space. The fear that lurks in the corners of the Earth. The absolute shame of ineptitude–these are the traits of the Lifeside universe Geriatric Ones. Their origins are shrouded in mystery and possibly galaxy sized diapers. What we do know is they suck, and their woe is revealed in the book that frightens them the most: The Incomponomicon. What are their plans? Where will they try to strike next, genericinindia.com? Is there a sale at Macy’s? All of these dreaded questions need answers!
Garthnell is the high priest of Chaos in the Deathside universe. He along with Negazumi were the reason for the resulting takeover and destruction of that universe by the Geriatric Ones. He is in many ways very similar to Harknell, but is obviously more ruthless and cunning. He seeks knowledge above all else and doesn’t care what it takes to get it. What will his plan be now that he’s trapped in the Lifeside?
Negazumi is the high priestess of Chaos in the Deathside universe. She along with Garthnell were the reason for the resulting takeover and destruction of that universe by the Geriatric Ones. She is an even match for Onezumi, and may even be more formidable in a straight fight due to her fierce and unwavering determination to win at all costs. She is currently one up on Onezumi since she “killed” her during their first encounter. Being trapped in the Lifeside does not agree with her at all–so she thinks something must be done, and soon, to correct things.
Gothulhu is the spawn of Seth and Martha Ulhu and lives in the underwater city of R’lyeh in the Lifeside universe. She attends R’lyeh high school and hates every minute of it. She is happy though to have met Assmunky, who she now hangs out with in the Dreamlands on their “dates”.
|The Geriatric Ones Of the Deathside:
The essence of Chaos. The Lords of the Places outside of known space. The fear that lurks in the corners of the Earth. The Owners of the Deathside Universe. They are the real deal. They succeeded with the help of Negazumi and Garthnell in finally breaking through and taking over that universe. They are the ultimate evil and are not fun at parties.